Harsha's Life Blog

Much of consumerism is about sub-consciously seeking reassurance. The hidden belief is that consuming what is thought should be consumed — often what others are seen to be consuming — will somehow bring validation. So, the reassurance of consumerism is when doing what...

Lazy explanations are easily hatched. Often, it takes much more discipline and consideration to realise that we do not know something. The certainty of the known is very attractive — too attractive — and that is why it leads us astray.   Control  The human mind craves...

The “Russian-novel Problem”, coined by the psychologist David Premack, arises when so many events occur in the lives of two individuals over time, that it is impossible to know what caused what. The greater the number of interactions — all potentially connected in...

How would you change your schedule if you had, say one week or one day left to live? If the answer is “not by much”, you are truly blessed. If the answer is “f@&!, totally” it’s probably time to take a hard look at your choices.  Funny question?  Okay, so this is...

Personal agency begins with taking responsibility. And, "responsibility" is quite simply the ability to respond. Whatever happens then, you always have choice in how you respond, both inwardly —within yourself — and outwardly. The Latin roots of the word...

Diverse life experiences can be good medicine for a closed mind. The state of one’s mind is often laid bare in those situations that challenge your deepest beliefs. That challenge your view of the world and how you believe things should be. Vastness of experience But,...

Positive thinking is a dangerous game. One that brushes over and risks suppressing the so-called negative, such that it remains hidden — its importance missed. That’s not all, the ‘negative’ that is ignored often surfaces with great force when you least expect it....

We can so easily forget just how much we are bound by culture. How culture influences us through the force of our surroundings and the mimicry of others. Just think of the reaction to Coronavirus as a display of cultural tendencies. Wearing a mask is second nature to...

There are four types of people when it comes to discourse. Those who (1) understand quickly (2) understand with (some) guidance (3) understand superficially, at most (4) are not even trying to understand. People in type 4 are most likely acting in bad faith and you...

One may cling to definitions of self to find meaning — I’m this and that, blah blah blah. Actually, one can find more meaning by letting-go of these inherently partial narratives that we box ourselves into. What is left is the purest essence of who you are. ...

There are reasons and there are reasons. Often, the logical reasons we give have nothing whatsoever to do with the real reasons for doing something. They may be worlds apart, yet the logical reason is often put forward as if there was no doubt about it.  Logical...

We are very good at playing secret games in our daily lives. Some games are about deliberately presenting a front, designed to manipulate or deceive another. And, some secret games are more about self-deception, where what is actually going on for you is not what you...

There is something quintessentially you about you. The same way that leaves on a tree are somehow all similar yet different, we humans too are similar but different. Each one of us will have a unique flavour — a character and personality that is recognisable. However,...

The algorithm is the new God. It moves in mysterious ways. When things go wrong, someone will now just say the ‘algorithm decided’.  Complex systems  The sad reality is that even the tech creators are unable to predict the behaviour of their own algorithms completely....

Seeking happiness in external achievements is like relentlessly cleaning a window from the outside ignoring the dust and finger prints on the inside. No amount of rubbing from the outside will ever provide a clear view. You might even obsess over a single spot that is...

Rather than worship heroes, look to their archetypes. What is it that they embody that you admire? Can you find more of that within yourself? Hero worship may be a starting point, but it does not have to end there.  Archetypes  Archetypes refer to the qualities that...

Better to over-filter potential BS and miss out a little, than under-filter and contaminate your mind. Filtering BS is sadly needed for maintaining sanity amidst so much noise and the same goes for avoiding time wasters.   Filtering BS  The idea behind over-filtering...

“She’s going places. He will go far. They’ve made it!” Everyday speech is littered with these apparently harmless phrases, yet they all hide something deeply disturbing. Something about the way we relate to success and the good life that poisons everyday living. ...

You are in big trouble if you solely look to prevailing ideas as the lens through which you view the world. Some kind of change is always in the air, but how do we make sense of it? Are you to be blown about like a leaf in the wind? Each one of us needs some kind of...

Attention is primary to how we experience the world. It is the lens through which we engage in matters with different levels of focus. But, how good is your attention? Could it be that much of the time we miss what is staring us in the face because of inattentional...

Interactions become much more interesting when rather than trying to convince people, you really seek to understand their perspective. Perhaps you will learn something new, and perhaps they will glimpse the absurdity of their position through the exploration, despite...

Sometimes, people say that money doesn’t really buy happiness, but that it buys freedom. Does money buy freedom? What does ‘freedom’ really mean? Because inner-freedom and the ‘freedom’ that money buys are not the same thing.  Does money buy neither freedom nor...

One version of how to live a happy life is doing whatever the f*** you want without harming others. Of course, this is much easier said than done on both accounts.  Doing whatever you want  Whatever the external constraints at play (for example time, money) you can...

Emotional abuse can be as bad as, or sometimes even worse than, physical abuse. Just because it does not leave any external marks, that does not mean it is any less real. Emotional abuse may also be subtle and can exist in personal relationships and at the workplace....

Extract from Machine Ego  Emotions are common to us all. To be human is to experience emotion, whether it is anger, sadness, joy, shame or fear. Though denying emotions sometimes feels easier! While we experience complex emotions such as contempt and jealousy,...

Everybody's got 'religion' — some idea of what the good life is. The difference is between those who consciously recognise this and those who prefer to live in denial. And, denial is a dangerous game because ignoring something does not make it go away. Our deeper...

What gets in the way is often not logistical, i.e. not knowing what to do or how to do it. Rather, it is our own personal blockages. Those often non-conscious, psychological barriers that stop us from doing what we already know.  Logistical  By logistical, I am...

To rebel against convention by trying to be “anti-conventional” is still to be defined by it. For, you continue to anchor to the very thing you supposedly wish to distance yourself from. You derive your identity in opposition to it and thus in very close relation to...

To think that ‘evil’ is something out there and does not apply to you at all, is perhaps the greatest evil of all. For, we all carry within us both the seed of darkness and the highest essence of divine love, by virtue of being human.  Your shadow exists, whether you...

The words ethics and morality tend to be used interchangeably in common discourse. For most discussions glossing over the ethics vs morality distinction is harmless. However, it is worth remembering that they are not quite the same thing.  Morality is the origin  I...

Laziness is never really laziness. It is usually a veneer for (i) not caring enough  (ii) feeling confronted by a thing. It is the surface result of a deeper force. Laziness is really dispassion or fear.  Dispassion  Coachees sometimes tell me that they are not...

“My experience is what I agree to attend to”, observed the American philosopher and psychologist, William James in 1890. But what James —who was exploring the nature of conscious awareness — noted, is not quite right. What we choose to pay attention to and consume...

I’ve always been puzzled by the idea of “seeking new challenges.” Seeking out something undefined except for its challengingness, its level of difficulty and hardship. And, this can become almost pathological for some as they look for yet another new challenge — a new...

A fundamental indicator of how comfortable you are in your own skin is the ability to just be with yourself — to sit with your thoughts and your feelings. To not have to rely on some activity, distraction or dopamine hit to feel at ease. To simply be comfortable with...

Notice your default.   Default is where the most time is spent, yet is the least examined.   Default is the realm of habitual behaviour and hidden beliefs. Beliefs that often live in the dark, outside your conscious awareness.  Your default may or may not be good for...