Harsha's Life Blog
400+ articles on life, career and change
Sign-up to receive ideas from Harsha’s Life Blog
Declutter your mind
We can clutter our minds in the same way that we clutter our homes. And the result is very much the same. Feeling cramped for space, confusion around where things are, wasted energy and frustration. Luckily, decluttering your mind is much simpler than you might...
Inner freedom in the everyday
How can we live with a sense of inner freedom? To feel like life isn’t an uphill struggle with foes to vanquish at every turn. The truth is, you often stand in your shadow, and you just need to get out of your own way. But, the mind is a tricky customer that loves to...
Corporate employment is like school
I’ve been thinking a lot about how corporate employment is much like school. It shares so many of the undesirable features of mainstream education that it’s kind of scary. And, I am not sure what’s worse— that corporate employment is like school, or that school is...
Everything is useful, everything is useless
Through the use of logic, you see the limits of logic. Through the limits of logic, you see the use of logic. Everything is useful in some way and useless in another. So, you cannot ask a fish to cross the Serengeti in the same way that cannot ask a cheetah to swim...
What really inspires you?
I’ve discussed the value of asking what you would do if money wasn’t a problem in relation to career change. But, figuring out what really inspires you is not always easy. In today’s blog, I offer a few ideas to try and tease out what may be too shy to show itself. ...
Your deeper motivation
The deeper motivation for doing what you do is everything. It is the engine that powers the entire process. It is the driving force behind all that unfolds and as such, you must get to know it. To see it and really understand it. So, what are your real motivations for...
Ouroboros of mind
Many psychological knots are self-perpetuating — like Ouroboros, the serpent that eats its own tail. We often become anxious about anxiety, sad about sadness, and fearful of fear. Psychological knots What makes psychological knots, knotty, is that you are attempting...
No passion, no problem
I’ve always had a strong sense for what inspires me, for what I want to do with my time. The key constraints in my life, once upon a time, were time and energy. This was fundamentally why I decided to do my own thing a few years ago. What has become clearer to me over...
Saints and sinners
I recently read that Stanley Milgram’s controversial electric-shock experiment from the early 60’s was faked. Apparently, he massively cherry-picked the data to fit his narrative. Milgram claimed to have shown how obedience to authority led people to do unconscionable...
Preference or truth?
Many so-called battles for the ‘truth’ are really disputes about preferences — like chocolate vs. vanilla. One is no-more or no-less valid than the other. Don’t confuse what-you-like with some notion of absolute reality. It is always worth asking — are we talking...
Self-renewal
The Amazonian Pirahãs, one of the world’s last remaining hunter-gatherer tribes, have an intriguing tradition of changing their names every 10 years or so. For the Pirahãs, people are not the same in different stages of their lives and name changes are meant to...
Finding meaning
Finding meaning is one of those trendy phrases that gets thrown around a lot these days. But, what does finding meaning really involve? What the bloody-hell is it and how do we find it? Here’s a thought. Rather than trying to find meaning in life, find what feels...
Void of achievement
Looking to try something different in 2021? STOP desperately trying to ‘achieve’. The space that is left by freeing-up the energy wasted on proving yourself is fertile ground for growth. This is the void of achievement. Be wary of positive advice The world is full...
2020 in review
Friends, 2020 has certainly been crazy, but I tried to get on with things despite it all. Self-published my first book on my own terms Coached by video throughout the pandemic Got a bicycle Walked in nature more Wrote 143 blog posts Attended Nassim Taleb's Real World...
Theory of mind
Why do we get worked-up over the behaviour of other humans? Why do we have expectations of people in the same way we wouldn’t of other animals? Because the human animal has what is known as theory of mind. Choice and action Theory of mind is the ability to attribute...
Projecting yourself
People are always projecting themselves on to others. This is almost axiomatic. The only question is around how much one does it. How aware are you of when you might be projecting yourself on to others? Projection is fundamental to how the human animal lives and we...
Reflections on Eastern Philosophies
Transcript of my talk, "Chuang Tzu to Alan Watts — Reflections on Eastern Philosophy". Given at the Mandarin Club on 17th December 2020, on the special brew of thought that is Chan Buddhism. My interest in Eastern Philosophy, and other philosophies, stems from trying...
On risk sharing
Risk sharing is something we all do. Whether explicitly through contractual arrangements or implicitly through casual, unspoken agreement. And, risk sharing is easiest when trust is high. When parties know each other’s circumstances intimately and when each has the...
Be careful whom you copy
You can always learn from other people. If not what to do, then what not-to-do. If not how to be, then how not-to-be. But, it isn’t always easy to distinguish between the two. We may falsely attribute success to know-how, not realising that the former does...
So critical because you care
The things that we really care about can be the hardest to do because we care so much. We can put immense pressure on ourselves to do it well —straightaway(!) — rather than engage in playful exploration. Our inner critic can be crippling. Inner critic distracts We...
Denying to yourself
Denying to yourself how you feel is like trying to keep a wild elephant in a wooden shed. It will break free, most likely producing much chaos. Better to acknowledge the truth of experience and save yourself the hassle. What’s more, such noticing allows you to find...
Finger is not the moon
Wisdom begins with curiosity and with questions. Questions about how things work, questions about yourself — questions about life and being. And, in all of this, we must remember that the finger is not the moon. Thinking The man who thinks that he knows it all, in...
Human fodder
Modernity specialises in producing fodder, whether it is McDonalds, Miley Cyrus or mainstream media. And, what is fodder, exactly? Noun: food, especially dried hay or straw, for cattle and other livestock. But there is another layer to this — there's fodder and...
The experience of creating
What does it mean to create? The word conjures up all sorts of images from abstract art to founding a business. But, are its essential features clear? Importantly, what can we say about the experience of creating? Out of nothing The Late Middle English origin of...
Whose game do you want to play?
Playing someone else’s game is a sure way to stifle the human spirit. Whatever the dangled carrot, there is always a hidden stick waiting to strike if you deviate from their terms. Play your game on your terms. Whatever the difficulties, at least you hold your own...
Help to think
I often share vignettes from coaching sessions where something not obvious emerged. But, today I’d like to talk about the value of helping someone to simply think through a problem, even one that appears straightforward. To really listen and to pose questions that...
Reassurance of consumerism
Much of consumerism is about sub-consciously seeking reassurance. The hidden belief is that consuming what is thought should be consumed — often what others are seen to be consuming — will somehow bring validation. So, the reassurance of consumerism is when doing what...
Squeezed to fit
Lazy explanations are easily hatched. Often, it takes much more discipline and consideration to realise that we do not know something. The certainty of the known is very attractive — too attractive — and that is why it leads us astray. Control The human mind craves...
Stop adding value
If you need to ask yourself if you are ‘adding value’ at work, you are very likely doing something that is not valuable. Let me put it this way, a plumber is not going to turn up at your house, fix the pipes and then ask if he has added value. Neither is a nurse. The...
Golden cage
“Wild fowl get a peck once in ten steps, a drink once in a hundred. Yet, they do not want to be fed in a cage. For although they would thus be able to command food, they would not be free.” This caution, attributed to the Chinese Philosopher, Chuang Tzu (4th century...
Russian-novel problem
The “Russian-novel Problem”, coined by the psychologist David Premack, arises when so many events occur in the lives of two individuals over time, that it is impossible to know what caused what. The greater the number of interactions — all potentially connected in...
Obsession with being productive
We are living amidst more than one pandemic. The second is the obsession with being productive, where even to sit for a moment and enjoy a coffee is somehow experienced with furrowed brow. With a nagging feeling that you are somehow doing something wrong or not...
Confusion about consciousness
Discussions around Consciousness generally have a fundamental pre-supposition baked-in —that humankind is somehow special. That we are somehow different to the entire realm of nature. Yet, if we take a first principles approach that the entire universe comprises of...
Last day on earth
How would you change your schedule if you had, say one week or one day left to live? If the answer is “not by much”, you are truly blessed. If the answer is “f@&!, totally” it’s probably time to take a hard look at your choices. Funny question? Okay, so this is...
Your response-ability
Personal agency begins with taking responsibility. And, "responsibility" is quite simply the ability to respond. Whatever happens then, you always have choice in how you respond, both inwardly —within yourself — and outwardly. The Latin roots of the word...
Medicine for a closed mind
Diverse life experiences can be good medicine for a closed mind. The state of one’s mind is often laid bare in those situations that challenge your deepest beliefs. That challenge your view of the world and how you believe things should be. Vastness of experience But,...
Self-actualisation is not self-improvement
When people talk about self-actualisation they inevitably invoke Maslow with visually appealing colourful pyramids. They present self-actualisation as if it is somehow ‘self-improvement’. The reality is that this is a mischaracterisation. Self-actualisation is not...
Negativity of positive thinking
Positive thinking is a dangerous game. One that brushes over and risks suppressing the so-called negative, such that it remains hidden — its importance missed. That’s not all, the ‘negative’ that is ignored often surfaces with great force when you least expect it....
Bound by culture
We can so easily forget just how much we are bound by culture. How culture influences us through the force of our surroundings and the mimicry of others. Just think of the reaction to Coronavirus as a display of cultural tendencies. Wearing a mask is second nature to...
Career success is for suckers
Have you noticed that people who either love what they do, or are really making money never talk about “career success”? Why? Because they are too busy loving what they do or making money! “Career success” is a sucker’s game. Second best “Career success, career...
Four types of people
There are four types of people when it comes to discourse. Those who (1) understand quickly (2) understand with (some) guidance (3) understand superficially, at most (4) are not even trying to understand. People in type 4 are most likely acting in bad faith and you...
Clinging to definitions
One may cling to definitions of self to find meaning — I’m this and that, blah blah blah. Actually, one can find more meaning by letting-go of these inherently partial narratives that we box ourselves into. What is left is the purest essence of who you are. ...
What logical reasons hide
There are reasons and there are reasons. Often, the logical reasons we give have nothing whatsoever to do with the real reasons for doing something. They may be worlds apart, yet the logical reason is often put forward as if there was no doubt about it. Logical...
Secret games
We are very good at playing secret games in our daily lives. Some games are about deliberately presenting a front, designed to manipulate or deceive another. And, some secret games are more about self-deception, where what is actually going on for you is not what you...
Less-expressed or repressed?
There is something quintessentially you about you. The same way that leaves on a tree are somehow all similar yet different, we humans too are similar but different. Each one of us will have a unique flavour — a character and personality that is recognisable. However,...
Algorithm is the new God
The algorithm is the new God. It moves in mysterious ways. When things go wrong, someone will now just say the ‘algorithm decided’. Complex systems The sad reality is that even the tech creators are unable to predict the behaviour of their own algorithms completely....
Like bad window cleaning
Seeking happiness in external achievements is like relentlessly cleaning a window from the outside ignoring the dust and finger prints on the inside. No amount of rubbing from the outside will ever provide a clear view. You might even obsess over a single spot that is...
Our heroes
Rather than worship heroes, look to their archetypes. What is it that they embody that you admire? Can you find more of that within yourself? Hero worship may be a starting point, but it does not have to end there. Archetypes Archetypes refer to the qualities that...
Are you coachable?
The question of coachability is fundamental to the coaching relationship. It is so fundamental that without coachability, coaching simply cannot take place. What is coachability? Coachability is the ability to engage in an introspective process of...
Avoiding time wasters
Better to over-filter potential BS and miss out a little, than under-filter and contaminate your mind. Filtering BS is sadly needed for maintaining sanity amidst so much noise and the same goes for avoiding time wasters. Filtering BS The idea behind over-filtering...
