Harsha's Life Blog
400+ articles on life, career and change
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Why scheduling fails
If you are relying on a schedule to force you to act — to practise a skill or a craft— you are not scheduling to practice, but practising to schedule. It’s not that scheduling isn’t a useful thing to do. Rather, scheduling is only useful to the person who has already...
5 types of corporate personality
An organisational team is rarely easy to manage, let alone be a part of. It is a complex mixture of unique individuals and styles, but there are patterns. Here are 5 common of corporate personality types — each of which comes with its own leadership challenge —an...
The Big Red Bus Problem
I recently got my driver’s licence after having put it off for many years. Apart from the tricky business of navigating big UK roundabouts, it turned out that I had an aversion to buses. My driving instructor would frequently ask me why I was slowing down upon seeing...
On happiness and regret
To chase happiness — whether through excess wealth, status achievements or spiritual attainment — is to live in regret. Constantly having our eye on some future prize produces the psychological feeling of missed opportunity and scarcity. The feeling that we need to...
Becoming a parody of yourself
When you have a good run of something or feel you’ve done your ‘best’ work, it’s easy to fall into the trap of trying to copy yourself. This is the trap of trying to re-produce past success and it’s the quick path to becoming a parody of yourself. You only create...
The fallacy of personal progress
Humanity has achieved vast material and technological improvements — things are the best they’ve ever been in this realm. Likewise, we’ve made many social improvements in terms of freedoms, equality and justice in many parts of the world compared to even a century...
A battle of beliefs
Disagreements within leadership teams about ‘what good looks like’ are a part and parcel of working life. Approached with the right collective attitude, they are an opportunity to reflect, debate and become more effective as a team. However, when intractable...
On the vagueness of desire
The modern human is obsessed with achievement. Yet, how clear are we about what that is? The desire to 'achieve' — unlike the desire for food when hungry — often lacks specificity. Defaulting to some vague idea of more, ‘achieving’ is usually a confused, backdoor way...
The mind games we play
Human interactions rarely happen along a single dimension. Even simple, everyday conversations require significant context and cultural knowledge to be understood. Who is saying the words, what is the manner of expression, where are they being spoken, and why? Yet,...
The authenticity trap
I recently saw someone wearing a T-shirt with the words "just be yourself" sprawled across the front. Well intentioned I suppose, but it was missing the crucial point. Because to just be yourself, you must first really know yourself. For, how can you really be...
The company as a village
An organisation is not a family and cannot aspire to that ideal. Outside of rare cases (e.g. in the military, certain family businesses), it's unrealistic to expect the same levels of sacrifice and devotion that you find in a family in the modern workplace. But,...
Chasing the remarkable
We are obsessed with the ‘remarkable’ —the special and the extraordinary — which we so desperately crave. Yet, there really is nothing more unremarkable than chasing the remarkable — than unconsciously and unquestioningly chasing some idea of ‘special’ that everyone...
On having no goals
The modern human is obsessed with pursuing all manner of life goals — happiness, success, achievement, or whatever else. Goal-orientated living has become so commonplace that even the idea of having no goals seems unthinkable. To look ahead and plan is of course very...
On creative intelligence
"I am not creative" is something that I often hear people in non-artistic fields say. Yet, our species is inherently creative — to be human is to be creative. What’s more, we cannot put limits on creativity either. An unquantifiable intelligence, seemingly arising out...
10 good books I read in 2022
As the year draws to an end, I thought I would share a selection of 10 good books I read in 2022. In no particular order: 1. The farther reaches of human nature — Abraham Maslow In this 1971 classic, Maslow draws on his experiences interacting with so-called...
Work DOES define you
“Don't let work define you” sounds like a nice idea, until you dig into it a little more. People repeat this advice with the best intentions, but risk devaluing something precious in the process. For, the right kind of work or vocation has the power to bring real...
Are you competitive?
I was recently reminded of how idiotic a corporate interview question, "Are you competitive?", is. I too was once asked it, years ago, when I was applying for Finance jobs as a graduate. Of course, I accidentally slipped into a philosophical discussion and, needless...
Different roads to burnout
People usually think of burnout as something that happens to them due to external circumstances, rather than something they actively create. Yet, it is not at all obvious that we can accept this at face value, particularly in our advanced, modern societies where...
On the value of finding your Anti-calling
More important than finding your ‘calling’ in life, is finding your anti-calling — figuring out what you definitely don’t want to do. For, by avoiding what is detestable, you free up enormous psychological and emotional energy that you can divert elsewhere. Yet, the...
The right people
Surround yourself with the right people — most other things will fall into place. For, it is the people in your life that largely define your everyday experience. And, even the harshest physical circumstances become more manageable with their fellowship. What’s more,...
On quiet quitting
Quiet quitting – where people consciously choose not to go the extra mile at work – is much less about employers. It is much more about achievement-obsessed moderns who cling to careerism for their self-worth, adjusting to reality. Being employed so that you can put...
Whose desires are you desiring?
Being content with less is a super power. It gives you tremendous freedom and flexibility in how you live, but it is easier said than done. For, what exactly are we even talking about when we refer to ‘less’? Is it simply your possessions, or must you temper your...
The Founders’ Curse
Growth is an inevitable part of founding something that actually works out commercially. Yet, as much as growth is a sign of success, it can also become the founders' curse. Because growth means that at some point, a founder will have to choose between two...
Freedom can be scary
After years of institutionalised education and employment, it is easy to feel lost without some externally imposed routine. Freedom can be scary and fear of it is a huge barrier to change. “What else would I do?” Recently, I’ve been nudging an old friend who has no...
The struggle to change
Personal change necessarily involves a struggle within. A struggle between the part of you that wants to change and the part of you that doesn’t. And, in order to tip the balance, you must first understand the nature of the struggle to change. The struggle to change...
The secret of happiness
When Socrates was put on trial for corrupting Athen's youth, he was adamant that he wouldn’t change his ways. Socrates felt compelled to “fulfil the philosopher's mission of searching into myself and other men”. He explained that “examining myself and others is the...
Materialism is not the problem
Many have the idea that ‘materialism’ — giving high importance to material possessions — is modernity’s big problem. But, materialism is not the problem really, for a true materialist would have a love for beauty, aesthetics and quality. And there is nothing mundane...
On lasting motivation and procrastination
I often hear from people who find themselves launching initiatives with great enthusiasm, only to lose steam very quickly. They are puzzled by their own behaviour only because they are yet to realise that there is a missing ingredient. That it isn’t enough simply to...
Making implicit priorities explicit
Everything in life boils down to priorities. Many options, many possibilities, and we must choose. Yet, how clear are you about your choices? How clear are you about why you have chosen a certain path? There is a great benefit to making explicit in your mind, what you...
The real gold is within
In a world of endless possibilities, the only real way to find focus is to follow your deepest interests. Otherwise, you end-up like a magpie fluttering from one shiny thing to the next, hoping it's gold, when the real gold is within. The real gold is connecting to...
Bringing clarity to discussions
Few people actually have meaningful discussions where both really understand each other. Often, we talk across purposes, even about entirely different things, despite using similar words. Similar words can create the illusion that we are talking about the same thing,...
Pressure to be consistent
The pressure to be ‘consistent’ is the enemy of growth. It keeps you stuck doing what you’d rather not, for fear of appearing inconsistent to others. It keeps you from changing your mind, as quickly and as often, as you need to, because there is shame attached to it....
Re-thinking Resolutions
I’ve never really been into new year’s resolutions. Not because I have anything against resolutions, but because I have never really had any use for them. My approach has always been to action, whatever it is that I’ve wanted to action, as soon as possible. Now, this...
8 good books I read in 2021
8 good books I read in 2021 (random order): 1) Good Reasons for Bad Feelings (2019) — Randolf Nesse Evolutionary psychiatrist, Randy Nesse, warns against mistaking symptoms for diseases when it comes to emotions such as anxiety and depression. He explores evolutionary...
Mistaking symptoms for the problem
“My problem is that I get so easily distracted while working.”“I feel anxious about meeting my friends” “The trouble is I always feel like there is something missing in my life.” When diagnosing difficulties in life, you can easily fall into the trap of mistaking...
Coaching has to be fun
The unceasingly insightful, Rory Sutherland, made a gem of a point about creativity and humour on a recent podcast. And, it got me thinking about how coaching has to be fun, for it to really be effective."The job of scientists is to take what is already known and come...
How to work with a bad boss
People often ask 'how to work with a bad boss or manager'. The short answer is that you don’t! There is no how. A bad boss is simply someone you should not tolerate. For, do you really deserve to be subjected to pain by someone who can hold arbitrary power over you?...
Walking without touching the ground
Modernity is obsessed with trying to define the good life. “What is happiness? What is meaning? Am I living my best-life?” The hope is to come-up with a precise and easily measurable answer that we can put in a box and tie-up with a bow. Our desire for certainty is...
How our roles shape us
It has been 50 years since the infamous Standford Prison Experiment. A psychology study organised by Dr. Phil Zimbardo that simulated a prison environment using college students. The study was supposed to last for 2 weeks, but abandoned in 6 days after the ‘guards’...
The Other Half of Life
I recently learnt that there is more genetic difference between two groups of chimpanzees from the same region, than there is between two humans from Western Europe and East Asia. This is quite astonishing when you think about the incredibly different lives humans...
Rushed Living
More information and choices automatically lead to rushed living, for the supply of your time is fixed. By trying to accommodate every new thing modernity produces, you end up breathless, following the herd as a cognitive shortcut. Autopilot Unless you live a...
Circularity of being employed
The lower the minimum you need to live, the quicker you can meet it, and the easier it becomes to say NO to soul destroying work. But, this is true only if you value such freedom. The freedom to explore what inspires you. Beware the circularity of being employed just...
Modernity has ADHD
Modernity has ADHD. Rather than attention, it is ACHIEVEMENT deficit hyperactive disorder. Obsessed with ticking boxes of achievement, everything must somehow be “productive”, or we feel like we are failing. But this hyperactivity only betrays a chronic insecurity...
Creativity in coaching
I just finished comedian and screenwriter John Cleese’s gem of a book, “Creativity”. Amongst the many valuable nuggets in there, one that really struck me was the value of playful exploration. Not shutting down ideas too quickly because the critical, analytical voice...
Simple does not mean easy
Simple does not mean easy to do. Many powerful life choices are simple — their value readily understandable. Yet, they can feel so hard to implement. Consider, for example, ‘not caring about what others think’, ‘leaving unfulfilling work/relationships’, or ‘letting-go...
The Pre-packaged Life
Readymade solutions most likely serve someone else’s interests more than they serve yours. For, how can they account for your highly personal needs? Do you really want to outsource the most important parts of your life? This is the trap of the pre-packaged life. The...
Understanding what people value
Understanding what people value is crucial to effective interactions, both personal and professional. For, if you really get what is important to someone, you will be in a better, more-informed place. You are less likely to waste time in misunderstandings and to get...
Needing something to look forward to
Iron Maiden’s 17th album will be out in September and I found myself really looking forward to it. I mean, it has been 6 years since their last! This also made me think about the case of constantly needing something to look forward to. How it is a sure sign of unease...
The relevance of degrees
Paul Graham shared something recently, which I feel is an excellent heuristic for considering the relevance of degrees. “Avoid getting degrees in subjects whose best practitioners rarely have such degrees. E.g. many mathematicians have degrees in math, but an MFA...
Don’t be the smartest person in the room
Don’t be the smartest person in the room, instead be the freest person in the room. Free in your mind, free with your time, free to live in your own way, on your own terms. In fact, I’m not sure this can be bettered. What is smart anyway? People tend to think of...