Harsha's Life Blog

One version of how to live a happy life is doing whatever the f*** you want without harming others. Of course, this is much easier said than done on both accounts.  Doing whatever you want  Whatever the external constraints at play (for example time, money) you can...

Emotional abuse can be as bad as, or sometimes even worse than, physical abuse. Just because it does not leave any external marks, that does not mean it is any less real. Emotional abuse may also be subtle and can exist in personal relationships and at the workplace....

Extract from Machine Ego  Emotions are common to us all. To be human is to experience emotion, whether it is anger, sadness, joy, shame or fear. Though denying emotions sometimes feels easier! While we experience complex emotions such as contempt and jealousy,...

Everybody's got 'religion' — some idea of what the good life is. The difference is between those who consciously recognise this and those who prefer to live in denial. And, denial is a dangerous game because ignoring something does not make it go away. Our deeper...

What gets in the way is often not logistical, i.e. not knowing what to do or how to do it. Rather, it is our own personal blockages. Those often non-conscious, psychological barriers that stop us from doing what we already know.  Logistical  By logistical, I am...

To rebel against convention by trying to be “anti-conventional” is still to be defined by it. For, you continue to anchor to the very thing you supposedly wish to distance yourself from. You derive your identity in opposition to it and thus in very close relation to...

To think that ‘evil’ is something out there and does not apply to you at all, is perhaps the greatest evil of all. For, we all carry within us both the seed of darkness and the highest essence of divine love, by virtue of being human.  Your shadow exists, whether you...

The words ethics and morality tend to be used interchangeably in common discourse. For most discussions glossing over the ethics vs morality distinction is harmless. However, it is worth remembering that they are not quite the same thing.  Morality is the origin  I...

Laziness is never really laziness. It is usually a veneer for (i) not caring enough  (ii) feeling confronted by a thing. It is the surface result of a deeper force. Laziness is really dispassion or fear.  Dispassion  Coachees sometimes tell me that they are not...

“My experience is what I agree to attend to”, observed the American philosopher and psychologist, William James in 1890. But what James —who was exploring the nature of conscious awareness — noted, is not quite right. What we choose to pay attention to and consume...

I’ve always been puzzled by the idea of “seeking new challenges.” Seeking out something undefined except for its challengingness, its level of difficulty and hardship. And, this can become almost pathological for some as they look for yet another new challenge — a new...

A fundamental indicator of how comfortable you are in your own skin is the ability to just be with yourself — to sit with your thoughts and your feelings. To not have to rely on some activity, distraction or dopamine hit to feel at ease. To simply be comfortable with...

Notice your default.   Default is where the most time is spent, yet is the least examined.   Default is the realm of habitual behaviour and hidden beliefs. Beliefs that often live in the dark, outside your conscious awareness.  Your default may or may not be good for...

The richer a society gets, the less it seems to appreciate what it already has. I often look around and feel that there is so much to be thankful for, but little appreciation. It seems that while many things are amazing (at least in the material realm), nobody values...

The driving force of the Machine paradigm is the desire for greater control and certainty across all areas of life. Control and certainty are typically sought via measurable, external indicators. The Machine paradigm believes that what is unmeasured (or cannot be...

I spoke to a friend today who left the big city to return to a smaller town. He spoke of many positives; the less hectic pace of life, the walkable distance of the entire city, the fresher air. But, what he welcomed most was a sense of community and camaraderie —...

Focusing on “achievement” is a distraction. It pulls your mind away from attending to the thing, whatever that may be. So, rather than being fully immersed in it, you give-in to the distraction of achievement. Distraction that generates anxiety and inner tension....

One of the biggest challenges of modernity is making sure that technology serves you, and not the other way around. Whether it is as subtle as keeping the apps on your phone to an essential minimum or sticking to a simple moka pot rather than a fancy new coffee gizmo,...

Double binds can arise in the most unexpected places. What's more, they often operate without us being consciously aware that we are caught in them. The term, double bind, was coined in the 1950s by the pioneering scientist and thinker, Gregory Bateson. His idea is...

“It is difficult to get a man to understand something, when his salary depends on his not understanding it.” These simple yet profound words by the American writer and thinker, Upton Sinclair, can explain so much in the world. And, these words lend themselves to all...

(Extract from Machine Ego) Human beings seem to have an evolved predisposition to create narratives. And, creating narratives relies on establishing causal links between events, things, concepts, people, and places — making mental connections along the lines of “this...

We've all got hang-ups. Certain topics or situations that are triggering. Often, the temptation is to ignore these, to sweep them under the carpet. The reality is that this is a very fertile area for growth and self-understanding. Don’t ignore your hang-ups....

“One’s opinion is itself a matter of chance”, notes one of Kafka’s characters in the surreal and mind-bending tale of The Castle. But, how true this is for so many of us, much of the time! Matters of chance don’t just stop at opinion, they often extend to our deepest...

The longer I live and the more I talk to people from different fields – philosophers and physicists, abstract mathematicians and musicians — the more empirically ungraspable reality seems. Whatever stability in our socio-economic systems we think we have, it is not...

We often spend time trying to understand the complex world we live in. But, how often do you spend time really trying to understand yourself? We create our world in our own image and there lies vast complexity within you if only you dare to explore it. Reflections Our...

The Me! Me! Me! cult of individualism is the apogee of modernity. We have abandoned traditions, religion and community in favour of dollar bills and the individual right to be whatever we want! Not that traditions and religion are all inherently good. I’m sure that we...

Caution: Potentially emotionally disturbing self-harm references.  The word self-harm conjures-up images of self-inflicted physical abuse. Arms slashed with razor blades and individuals plucking their own hair out. The pain of dealing with dark thoughts and emotions...

How disenfranchised does someone need to feel in order to loot a store for a couple of jumpers? Or to attack innocent store owners. One would expect any self-interested person that has a stake in society to instinctively not want to destroy their own community. What...