There is something quintessentially you about you. The same way that leaves on a tree are somehow all similar yet different, we humans too are similar but different. Each one of us will have a unique flavour — a character and personality that is recognisable. However, there is a difference between having a unique character and repressing feelings within yourself.
So, a person might carry a unique flavour that makes them say “humorous, a quiet thinker or a dare devil”. However, we must not forget that our less-expressed sides still exist. Perhaps, these sides are less expressed by virtue of our innate personality? Say, in the same way that cheetahs are sprinters and wild dogs are long-distance runners. Or, maybe they are learnt ways of being that we adopted over the years, but paid little attention to?
We are all capable of the full spectrum of feelings (determination, courage, anger, power, compassion, passion, humour, melancholy, etc.) that make us deeply human. To express ourselves with different degrees of emphasis is only natural — we are each different in our own way. But, what happens when certain sides to us are so little-expressed or even repressed?
It may be the case that certain sides of your character show themselves so little that they might actually be repressed. They might not merely be, less-expressed, because of your natural personality, but rather blocked.
And, that can have serious psychological and physiological costs. The more that something that wants to naturally express itself is repressed within you, the more it is likely to produce a dangerous build-up. A build-up that may try to release itself in all sorts of unhealthy ways. For example, repressed anger may unexpectedly explode one day, or repressed power may lead to a loss of personal agency.
Noticing your different sides
Your habitual way of being may hide certain sides of you, which if you became more in touch with, might allow a richer lived experience. This is not to say that the quiet thinker should become the dare devil or vice versa! This is to say that the quiet thinker may benefit from exploring their less-expressed adventurous side, in the same way that the dare devil might benefit from quiet thinking.
If, for example, you tend to shy away from expressing anger, strong will or compassion, ask yourself — what stops you from doing so? What beliefs about these feelings might underlie your aversion to them?
Often, our less-expressed and repressed feelings tend to live outside our conscious awareness. So, only by really looking within and noticing yourself can you become aware of them. Are things merely less-expressed because that is who-you-are, or are you repressing feelings?
Harsha is a 1:1 coach and independent thinker based in London. He empowers people to find more clarity, confidence and focus in their lives — to cut through the noise, in a world so full of it. Harsha’s new book, Machine Ego: Tragedy of the Modern Mind, is now available in paperback and Kindle through Amazon.