People rarely fully reveal themselves in life. Few have taken the time to really know themselves and how they show-up with others. And, how they show-up is often the result of non-conscious attempts to fit in and win approval. For, much of our behaviour lives outside of conscious attention, conditioned by past experiences and by present norms. And, this is in addition to deliberate, conscious attempts to present a certain front to others. So, we often find quite a lot of smoke and mirrors in human interactions. But none of this should stop YOU from showing who you are.
Showing who you are is about radical openness
Showing who you are involves radical openness about your goals, ideas, beliefs, strengths, weaknesses, hopes, fears, skills. Just because other people are playing hide and seek, doesn’t mean that you need to. In fact, not playing that game will save you a lot of time!
By being entirely and utterly yourself and not trying to put up a front, you are more than half way there. You know that the positive interest you receive is at least not based on a lie about who you are. A lie that may be revealed some day to everyone’s disappointment. And this applies to professional, personal and romantic relationships! By showing who you are, you start attracting the right people for YOU. For, how can the bee find the flower, if the flower pretends to be a stick or a stone?
Of course, you must still be careful of Takers with hidden agendas who seek you for their own reasons. Takers who seek you out in spite of, not because of, who you are. And, there is no easy way around that. All we can do is engage with a spirit of openness and exploration that creates the space for you to suss that out! The rest will come with practice and life experience.
A strategy that never loses
Showing who you are is a strategy that never loses. Why? Because you are bringing who you are, as you are, and that requires finding a place of inner confidence and focus. A place of real clarity around how you want to live and do things. If people don’t like it, that’s their loss.
What it takes then is the courage to really own who you are. But, in order to own who you are and show who you are, you must first know who you are. You must first become awake to yourself. This is the path of self-knowledge.
Harsha is a 1:1 coach and independent thinker based in London. He empowers people to find more clarity, confidence and focus in their lives — to cut through the noise, in a world so full of it. Harsha’s new book, Machine Ego: Tragedy of the Modern Mind, is now available in paperback and Kindle through Amazon.