Letting go of needing to prove yourself is like laying down a heavy rock that you have been carrying on your back.

It liberates.

Entire lives

We can live our entire lives trying to satisfy society’s arbitrary benchmarks of success. Benchmarks that revolve around status achievements that deceive you into doubting your inherent worth as a human being. These toxic messages can keep you chasing an illusion, while putting huge amounts of pressure on you in the process. Burdened by the weight of your beliefs, you might lumber ahead, wondering why you don’t feel good about life?

All it takes to liberate yourself is noticing. Really noticing how you suffer by choosing to carry the heavy rock handed to you. And, as soon as you notice, you immediately empower yourself. Because you realise that carrying it around is a choice. And that you can say “f**k it, I choose to not play by those rules”.

Slippery customer

The feeling of needing to prove yourself can be a slippery customer too. It can creep-up on you even when you have resolved to ignore it. And, before you know it, you are once again carrying the rock that you thought you had put down!

So, putting the rock down may not be a one-off event. It may be something that you have to remember to do time and time again. What can support you in this? Simply becoming more attuned to yourself. Really paying attention to your inner thoughts and feelings and how you can create mental suffering for yourself. And, the more attention that you pay, the easier it gets.

Letting go of needing to prove yourself

Some eastern philosophical traditions use the metaphor of the mind as a mirror that needs to be polished. In a world so full of noise, it is inevitable that the mind collects dust — it is our job to notice.

Remember too that letting go of needing to prove yourself is in itself a path and not a destination. A path that we must walk if we are to find inner freedom.


life coaching londonHarsha is a 1:1 coach and independent thinker based in London. He empowers people to find more clarity, confidence and focus in their lives — to cut through the noise, in a world so full of it. Harsha’s new book, Machine Ego: Tragedy of the Modern Mind, is now available in paperback and Kindle through Amazon.