We sometimes face pivotal moments in life when it feels like we have reached a threshold. A point of no return where you feel that something has to change. I experienced this in my own career some years ago, when I decided to to take the leap to focus on what really interests me. And, at various points in my personal life, when I decided to put in place firmer boundaries around negative personal relationships. Whatever the specific context, these pivotal moments are truly valuable. But, you have to seize them when they arise!
Noticing the pivotal moments
We are often so busy with day-to-day demands and being in “doing mode” that even when a pivotal moment comes, you might fail to notice it. Perhaps because you have sold yourself a particular narrative that ignores what has come-up. Because the new information is just too painful to acknowledge, such that you prefer that it wasn’t true.
Whether it is being repeatedly under-appreciated by a friend , boss or romantic partner; or whether it is feeling incongruence between your values and your work, you must first notice what is happening in order to make something of it!
You have to look
I remember a conversation I once had with a coachee who had been led to expect a new career role only to be let down at the last minute. What she first brushed aside as “the way things work here” actually revealed much more upon deeper enquiry. Much more about how she really felt. Her discomfort, not only with the specific instance of her treatment, but the organisation’s ethos more generally. Something that she had always had at the back of her mind, but never dared to fully challenge. But, now she had an opportunity. An opportunity born out of circumstance, to consider what was right for her.
Seizing the pivotal moments in life
What characterises pivotal moments in life as being ‘pivotal’ is not necessarily how they look to others. It is more about how they feel to YOU. Such moments do not have to be as ‘visible’ as being passed-over for promotion or being let down badly by a friend. It could be a subtle event or comment that strikes a chord. That causes a shift inside you. That makes you open your eyes to something fundamental that you had not been attuned to thus far.
Sometimes, the event is so dramatic that it forces you to review your life, but how many other valuable opportunities are you missing? Whether you act upon a pivotal moment or not, you empower yourself simply through a recognition of them. Recognition that creates choice and the possibility of change.
So, ask yourself: “How aware am I of those pivotal moments in life that come-up? Am I willing to seize them?”
Harsha is an executive and life coach based in London. He empowers people to find more clarity, confidence and focus in their lives — to cut through the noise, in a world so full of it. Harsha’s new book, Machine Ego — Tragedy of the Modern Mind, is now available in paperback and Kindle through Amazon.