Harsha's Life Blog
400+ articles on life, career and change
Sign-up to receive ideas from Harsha’s Life Blog
I forgot I had my shades on
I was meeting a friend yesterday and looking for a particular coffee shop. Twice, I walked past what looked like a not-in-use building where the cafe was supposed to be. Feeling lost, I was about to telephone my friend but happened to take my sun glasses off at that...
Noticing tension
My music coach often reminds me that physical tension when playing is usually a sign of mental tension. The same can be true of life more generally, particularly when we are faced with new challenges or problems. Creeping up The unfamiliarity of a particular situation...
Know your USP
The question of USP is usually quite apparent when dealing with a physical product or a commoditised service. Identifying a USP can however be more elusive when you are the "product". By this I mean being involved in creating and offering something that has your...
The price you pay
Sometimes we are faced with important life choices: Stay or leave, continue or re-strategise, speak up or stay silent, be courageous or not. Often, we think of reasons not to deviate from where we currently are, but what tends to get forgotten is the price that you...
Are you hiding behind your business card?
The question of skill is fundamental to how we feel about what we do. Skill takes time to develop and is often the result of a deep interest in something that draws us further. When we have the opportunity to benefit from the halo effect of an established brand...
What happens after the fire is out?
It's very tempting to search for quick fix solutions. That antidote or magic bullet that looks like it will solve the problem fast, without too much fuss. And, of course, we need quick fix solutions sometimes. The danger is when we begin to rely on them as our default...
Shame in disguise: A tale of parents and children
Being a parent is a tremendous responsibility by any measure and one that involves love and care. There is a danger however that parents may sometimes put a lot of pressure on their children. And, this pressure can at times be the unconscious result of shame parents...
What works for you?
We seem to be obsessed with emulating the habits and rituals of so called 'successful' people in our culture today. Leaving aside the obvious errors of not accounting for survival bias, coincidence and luck, there is no particular reason to assume that what worked for...
Give yourself a chance
People can change and do change. Adaptability is one of the defining features of our species and it is this supreme adaptability that creates the possibility of significant personal change. Reframing for possibility I see people grow and change time and time again in...
But, what meaning does it carry for you?
Sometimes, we say that we need to do or be certain things. We might say we want to be more "confident", "productive" or "successful", for example. Each of these words will have a certain meaning, but what meaning does it carry for you? Overused words It is easy for us...
Show me the money!
Some of you will remember that comical moment in the movie Jerry Maguire when Rod repeatedly shouts "Show me the money, Jerry! Show me the money". Seeing Jerry Maguire again made me think about how the tendency to equate earning power with self-worth is still endemic...
May be it’s time to slow down
We are increasingly feeling the effects of our technology augmented fast paced lifestyles. Anxiety and mental health problems are on the rise and all this despite the so called 'progress' we are making. We seem to be in such a rush that perhaps it is time to slow...
Understanding their truth
Only you can have a full and complete picture of your truth; what you are feeling, what you are experiencing, the journey that you have been on. The same is true for everyone else. They will each hold their own truth. Courage to understand No matter how much you might...
How to choose a coach
How to choose a life coach? Working with an executive or life coach could be one of the most important decisions you make. Taking the time to find the right life coach for you is then crucial. Here are a eight things to consider on the question of how to choose a life...
Getting out of the chair in coaching
Most traditional office environments revolve around a seated, desk-based approach to work. The same is true of coaching. As an executive and life coach, experience has shown that getting out of the chair to move beyond just sitting and talking can be incredibly...
Defaulting to the status quo
One of the main reasons why change is so difficult is the allure of what is known. The comfort of the tried and tested — the safety of defaulting to the status quo. Loss Aversion What underlies this is our human tendency to be loss averse. In short, we are...
Us and them
The feeling of us and them is something that pervades all of human life. Whether you are standing in a queue at the postoffice collectively tutting at how slowly it is moving, or supporting your country at a sporting event, the distinction between us and them is at...
Less is more, sometimes
There will sometimes be situations when we feel like we have not done enough or demonstrably added value. On these occasions, it is useful to remember that sometimes, less is more. Feeling the need We have to be able to distinguish between the ego's need to feel like...
Taking responsibility
Taking responsibility for our choices and our actions is one of the most empowering things we can do for ourselves. We can sometimes get so bogged down in pointing the finger at the world that we forget to ask, "What am I doing that is stopping me from pursuing what...
The art of being concise
Rambling on in speech or in prose is never pleasant. As listeners, we want people to get to the point. And, as speakers, we want the ability to offer them just that! Being concise is an art. It is the ability to distill the essence of anything into simple, yet...
Year end reviews: Can we do better?
Many of you have probably just been through year end reviews. It is that moment when shoulders drop, sighs are let out and heads sag at the prospect of completing, collating and delivering feedback. Having been privy to numerous year end review processes, it is fair...
Change: Reversion to the mean
We are barely into 2017 and personal change initiatives are already losing steam. I've noticed the new year fitness group in the park already beginning to lose people. New habits take time to develop and supporting ourselves during this process is vital. Otherwise, we...
The question is not what should I do, but…
Making important life decisions can be tricky. The question to ask yourself in these situations is not what SHOULD I do, but what do I WANT to do? Identifying the 'should' The appearance of should in important questions betrays the impact of social pressure and...
Are your goals aligned with your wellbeing?
The beginning of the new year is a return to business as usual for many of us. A return to busy work and home environments. With stress and burnout on the rise, it is important to consider if we are paying enough attention to our wellbeing as we step into 2017. By...
In between time
It's that odd period between Christmas and new year when everything is a bit slow. The in between time with fewer meetings, emails and telephone calls. What an opportunity this is to take a step back and consider what's important to you. Using the in between time Too...
There will always be naysayers
We like to predict the future based on what we already know and what we have experienced. This means that there will always be naysayers to challenge anything that is new and unknown. Indeed in some cases, often in the short-term, history may be the best predictor of...
Stuck for last minute gift ideas?
Stuck for last minute gift ideas this Christmas? Here are six powerful books from the general area of 'personal development' that I have found very useful in my life: Last minute gift ideas: 6 Books to consider The Gifts of Imperfection (2010), Brené Brown: A...
It’s usually not binary
We can often fall into the trap of thinking that it's this or that, black or white, one or the other. Things are rarely that binary and we can sometimes be influenced by the priming effect. The mind likes to latch on to presenting options or create extreme opposites...
Goal Setting: It’s that time of year
Year end is a time when many of us think about setting goals for the new year. In that spirit, I wanted to share with you three questions on the subject of goal setting that I was recently asked to comment on. What do you say to people who come to you with a...
Overthinking: A trick of the mind
Too much thinking or overthinking can become something that holds us back from living a life of fullness and wellbeing. Reflective thought is the great gift we possess as human beings. However, it can also become a source of great discontentment and worry. Much of...
The importance of your physical environment
I have recently been noticing just how important our physical environment is to both our wellbeing and the quality of our thinking. The physical environment we inhabit is a powerful enabler of not only clarity of thought, but also...
Parallel Process in Coaching
I was recently reminded of the importance of the parallel process in coaching during a session with a bright and experienced individual starting a new role. The coaching was to be around resourcing herself to deal with new challenges following a promotion. 20 minutes...
Blame: Why it happens so easily
We've all been part of the blame game at some point. Either dealing it out or being blamed for things we probably had little to do with. It is fair to say that human beings are too quick to look for someone or something to blame when things go wrong. But why? Blame...
On being led astray
I was travelling around Japan recently, en route to a popular shrine. Along with the other tourists on the bus, I noticed a few uniform-clad Japanese middle schoolers going to the same place. Interestingly, they were travelling without an adult and appeared quite...
Are you really having a dialogue or giving a monologue?
Sometimes we can fall into the very unfortunate situation where we think we are having a dialogue with somebody, but what is actually taking place is parallel monologues. It is not uncommon for such conversations to feel very frustrating for at least one of the...
Beyond Cynicism
We have all been cynical about something or the other during our lives. Some would say that the longer we live, the more cynical we tend to become. Indeed, cynicism can be useful. The danger is that cynicism can begin to affect how we view human nature and life...
The components of confidence
Self-confidence is probably one of the most overused, yet misunderstood words in the English language. It has become associated with so many different ideas that we risk forgetting what it actually is. What is confidence then, really? Confidence Defined The origin of...
The coach as the embodiment of change
We will often move in and out of different roles when we coach, depending on the specific needs of the client. What I want to explore today is the role of the coach in embodying the very change that the coachee is seeking, so that it may be experienced...
Fear: The root of discontent
What is it that causes us to resist change? What is it that cautions us against pursuing our dreams? What is it that stops us from living to the fullest? The answer to these questions is almost inevitably, fear. Fear has evolutionary roots and is certainly helpful...
Are you putting too much pressure on yourself?
We can sometimes feel like we are not successful enough in our lives or not measuring-up somehow. You are not alone if you feel this way. It is because we are caught-up in a cultural web of conditioning that promotes status, money and power as the defining features of...
Embracing silence in coaching
Embracing Silence: Silence in ordinary everyday conversations can sometimes make us uncomfortable. We have all experienced those awkward moments when we have been desperate for something or someone to fill the silence. In coaching however, embracing silence is...
Career Change: The practicalities of going solo
The importance of finding and following your calling in life is an area that I have talked about recently. And some of you have asked the very pertinent question; "how? ― how do I actually go about pursuing my calling?". Indeed, this question can be particularly...
Effective Coaching: The importance of holding the space
Effective Coaching There is no shortage of different coaching techniques and methodologies in the world of executive coaching today. While certain ideas and creative ways of approaching coaching situations are undeniably useful, the bedrock of all effective coaching...
What If: The past, the present and the future
"What if things happened differently?" is a question we have all asked our selves at some point in our lives. It is not uncommon for us to wonder how things might have been if we had made different decisions or if certain events had taken another course. Considering...
Sometimes, it’s the simple things
Photo by Charlie Round-Turner I took the opportunity to go on a long country walk last week-end. Breathing in the tranquility of the clean forest air made me realise how important it is for us to connect with nature and how easily we can forget the wonder of...
Are you trapped in your own mind?
As human beings in the 21st century, we very much dwell in the realm of thought. We harness the power of our minds to evaluate, analyse and make complex decisions. The human mind is an incredible gift, yet it can deceive us with limiting beliefs if we are not careful....
The Rise of Homo Economicus
Who exactly is homo economicus? To set the scene, I want to share with you a conversation I overheard on the bus the other day, which was both inspiring and disheartening and at the same time. It was between two very young brothers, no more than five or six if I had...
The Paradox of Choice
Choice is one of those unique attributes of human existence that can sometimes feel like both a blessing and a curse. It is a blessing because choice gives us the power to decide how we move our lives forward at any given point; it is a curse because the weight of...
The Leadership Hoax
The aspiration to be a so called leader has always seemed a peculiar idea to me. Even as a child I wondered, "so, what does leadership mean — if some people are leaders are others followers then?". There is a danger that the idea of leadership, at least the kind...
Everybody wants to be Mr. Black
The Quentin Tarantino fans amongst you will know that I am referring to a scene from the movie Reservoir Dogs, which comically plays out the difficulties of asking a gang of criminals to each choose a colour as an alias and of course, everybody wants to be...